It is no longer news that top actress Ini Edo’s marriage to
Philips Ehiagwina has collapsed. So much has been written
mostly by writers relying on third party sources as to why
the marriage failed.
The widely speculated reason has been the issue of
infidelity that the husband alleged.
But was that the main reason the couple went their separate
ways? According to a source close to the couple and was
there when the romance started in 2008, and remained
close to the now divorced couple, the media has been
scratching the surface of what indeed was a story of
irreconciliable differences the actress endured for over six
years of her marriage to her estranged husband; and why
she gave her all to sustain the marriage. It is a story as told
by an insider who knew the couple way back from New
York, where Philips once lived, before moving to Texas, then
to Atlanta and now Ghana.
“I think Ini Edo was badly in love. Philips was a charmer
and, as a human being and deeply in love, she followed her
heart. It is so sad that a woman blessed with such a good
heart could be treated in such a hurtful manner. Most
people may not know, but Ini Edo is a dedicated and totally
committed spouse any man could hope to have. That’s why
she endured all she did, for six years without letting the
world know the pain she was going through in her
marriage,” the source stated. “Most people do not know
that Ini Edo gave up a lot of acting jobs to be with her
husband in America and, unlike the widely peddled story
that the actress was involved in romantic relationships with
other men, for the six years that Ini was married to Philips,
she never cheated on him. Ini Edo adored and loved Philips;
she was very fond of him, cooked his meals personally, and
was practically splitting her time between two continents, all
in her efforts to be a good wife.
“ There is no doubt that Ini was madly in love with her ex-
husband. In a 2009 interview she had with my newspaper,
The Diasporan Star in New York, she effusively declared her
fidelity to Phillips and debunked all the stories of her liaisons
with other men. “I am usually at a loss when I read stories
about my sexual relationships with phantom figures and
personalities. It is really astonishing when people just
manufacture stories, give them legs and let them fly when
they know the stories are absolutely false,” she had said.
“It is perfectly legitimate for men to have designs and
desires on stars. I was recently voted by the public as
Nollywood’s Sexiest Actress. So it comes with the territory
that men would want to date me. The question then
becomes: do you fall prey to every man that comes your
way? The answer is absolutely “no”. I was raised well by my
parents and I have always been a one-man lady. All the
sexual shenanigans that the media have associated me with
are all false. The problem with our journalists is that if they
saw you at a coffee shop with a man – just any man – even
if that man is your cousin or brother, they will automatically
assume that that is your new lover, and without asking
questions, will rush to publish that you were seen at a coffee
shop with a new lover.
“I have lost count of the number of such innocent outings
with family members, friends that the media misconstrued
that I was dating. What the media failed to understand was
that I had not allowed stardom and celebrity to becloud my
values. What they did not realize was that I wanted to be
married, and start a family, and that the notion that I was
some kind of a sexually crazed hormone raging young
woman, was totally false and a bad reading of who I am.
“Did I have friends in the past? Of course, just like any other
young and single woman out there, I had friends. Did that
make me an out-of control sexual goddess? Absolutely not!
It has been very painful for me each time I read all the
stories written about me, stuffs that are patently false. I
have, however, come to accept it as part of the price you
pay for stardom. I just wished they could do a little
investigation before rushing to publish.
“One story that pained me a lot is the notion that I snatched
Philips from his ex-wife – Ruth Okoro – while she was
recuperating from cancer treatment. Nothing could be
further from the truth. The ex-wife said I was callous and
mean-spirited to have done so. Initially, I had wanted to
ignore what she had said about me. But I would like to use
this medium to state that I did not take Philips from Ruth
Okoro.
“When Philips came into my life, he was a single man, with
no marital encumbrances. ••••
Philips was divorced from Ruth at the time we began seeing
each other. So, I do not understand what she is talking
about. I remember asking Philips to come clean with me,
and tell me everything that had happened between him ‘and
his ex-wife. I demanded to know if he was still married to
her, and Philips said “no” and produced a divorce paper to
back up his claim. It was after that that we began dating.
“ There is no way I would have dated him if he was still
married to Ruth. My values would have been in conflict with
that. There is no way I would have dated and agreed to
marry Philips if I knew that he had abandoned his wife in
hospital while she was recuperating from cancer treatment.
“ That would have been a huge turn-off. The Philips I met
and got married to is a perfect family man – a dependable,
God-fearing man who treasures his family. Philips was
there for his ex-wife throughout her hospitalization, and she
knows it. Let me also add here as a piece of advice to our
fellow women: If you had a home, one that you truly love
and appreciate, treat that home as a prized possession.
Treat your husband well.
“There is nothing to gain if you maltreat your husband, and
make his life miserable. Men do not like that. I hope Ruth
understands and appreciates the depth of what I am saying
here. That will be my response to everything she has said
about me – all the negative things she has written and
caused to be written about me. “Philips and I met during one
of his many visits to Nigeria, and I realized I had met the
man of my dream. When that special person who excites the
passion in you comes along, you begin to do things that are
out of range – you begin to be consumed by his thoughts –
you begin to send text
messages, call him all the time and just feel so much in
love. That was the way I felt when Philips came along. I
knew that he was the man for me.“I realized that we had the
same outlook about life, that I could start a sentence and he
would finish it for me, and would convey the same thoughts
I had in mind. When I took him to see my parents, they
wholeheartedly accepted him, even though he is not from
my part of the world -that is a testament to Philips’
humanity that is very, very transparent. “Philips and I have
the same ideology, and I am excited and happy to be his
wife. Our attraction is mutual, our focus is interlocked and
what a great family man he is! Philips calls my family even
more regularly than myself. He would just call to find out
how they are doing. He has such good heart and kind spirit
that is just a beauty to behold.
“That is the man I met and agreed to marry. All other
depictions are borne out of malice and hate, and we do not
even want to dignify their hate with a response. Our
marriage is a celebration of love borne out of deep sense of
mutual attachment, trust and abiding companionship. The
machinations of the naysayers will not hold”. Perhaps one
should ask, what happened to a marriage that appeared to
have been made in heaven as attested to by Ini Edo in her
interview. Our source stated that the marriage began to
experience challenges months after the wedding that took
place in Houston, Texas.
“Philips financial stability was still a work in progress but as
a dedicated wife, Ini was determined to support and
encourage her husband. She wanted him to be more frugal
and to invest whatever resources he had in things that will
yield some dividends. But things did not quite work out, “
the source said.
“ Ini Edo is very
industrious and wanted
combined efforts from
her husband to get
things done. Eventually
fights began to occur.
The last straw that
broke the camel’s back
was the house Ini
bought in Lekki, a
beautiful edifice.“Philips
wanted it to be a joint
property, but Ini
vehemently said no,
that she would have
none of that. Philips was said to have threatened to move
out of their home if Ini refused to put his name on the deed.
She stood her grounds and Philips also made good his
threat. He moved out of the house and took up residence
with another lady in Accra, Ghana which has been his home
for the past six months. All entreaties by family members
for Philips to return home were rebuffed; he wanted his
name on the deed or no marriage. For three months, Ini Edo
did not set her eyes on her husband and he had started
flaunting his new girlfriend to spite Ini. Scheduled
appointments by her father in-law to resolve the issue
amicably were rebuffed by Philips and ini was shocked.
“ There is no truth to the story that was peddled that Ini Edo
was involved in extra-marital affairs. It was Philips who
actually did not respect the sanctity of his marital vows.
While still legally married, he left his matrimonial home and
moved in with another lady in Ghana”. When I contacted Ini
Edo and asked her to conform what our source had told us,
she said she was done with that chapter of her life and was
looking forward to new possibilities.
“Ekerete, you were there when we started dating and
eventually got married. Does anything that has been written
about me, remotely resembles who and what I am about? I
wish Philips the best in life”, she said. Efforts to contact
Philips were not successful, but we hope someday to get
his own side of the story
Stories that touch the heart
As promised when this column made its debut three weeks
ago, that every other week, I will publish gripping true-life
stories that shine the light on the mountain and valley of
marriage and relationships, I begin today with this story that
will sure touch your heart.
Remember, this was a genre that I started in today’s
Nigerian media, so even though there are over a dozen of
such columns currently running in major newspapers and
magazines (and I thank God for giving me the vision and the
talents to have started this genre in 1986,) you can’t
replicate the original, you can only copy, so straight from the
pioneer, I present you one of the longest lasting columns in
contemporary Nigerian media “Stories that touch the heart”
One night of wrong judgment and one hell of painful
experience: why every woman must read this story (1)
Ken was the love of my life-until my husband came along.
We had met in our sophomore year in a political science
class and took to each other instantly. Ken was the
brightest student in our class, and most student s gravitated
towards him. He had women who practically offered
themselves to him, but he chose. Ken unlike me, was not
from a privileged background. Father was a taxi driver while
mother did janitorial job in a multinational company. But
what he lacked in material
terms, he had plenty in smarts and good looks and it was
those qualities that all came back together on that night that
my life changed forever. As I stated above, Ken was not
materially comfortable but he had an infectious ‘swagger’
about him that you couldn’t fail but notice. Above all, his
brilliance and general demeanor was all too evident. I can
still recall vividly that afternoon when our eyes met, and we
smiled affectionately at each other, and my heart beat was
racing at a rate I thought it would just burst open. I knew
from the way I felt that I would be defenseless if Ken were
to make a move on me, and that was exactly what had
happened when, at the end of the class, Ken walked briskly
towards me, and displaying those charms that made him
stand out in spite of his austere material circumstance, he
told me “hi pretty,
I think you are indeed a great specimen of God’s creation.
You are absolutely stunning and if you don’t mind, I would
like to get to know you better. As I am sure you already
know, my name is Ken, and here’s my number. Please feel
free to call me anytime you have the chance”. “Have a
chance”? I had asked myself. Of course, the chance was
now! And I wasted no time in calling Ken later that evening,
and we met and went out for coffee.
Ken was the sweetest and unpretentious guy I had ever
gone out with. Unlike those highly sheltered and overfed
sons of the rich and mighty who thought they had it all, and
were doing you a favor by even talking to you, Ken was
down to earth and was totally comfortable in his skin in
spite of the paucity of the material things around him. I fell
hopelessly in love with him, and as I went back to my room
that night, one thought occupied my mind: how to love Ken
and use some of my family’s material blessings to help him
whenever things were rough with him. We started dating
soon afterwards, and we were soon known all over the
campus as the inseparable lovers. Apart from when we
went to bed, Ken and I were together all the time-we had the
same classes and also the same major.
Convinced that Ken would be the man I would end up getting
married to I had brought him to see my parents and there, I
realized that our future together may have some challenges.
I am what you would describe as ‘daddy’s little girl.’ I love
my father so dearly that I can walk on broken bottles to
show my love and affection towards him. My daddy in my
estimation is the best father anyone could hope to have. He
had showered me with love and anything I wanted that was
within his range, he would provide without questions. I was
the apple of his eyes, and he always told me that though he
won’t interfere in my choice of a life partner, but if he felt
such a choice would not guarantee me happiness and a
sense of stability, he would object to it, and prayed that I
would understand should such a moment arise in future. My
mother on the other hand was completely liberal-whatever
floats my boat was ok with her. She trusted my sense of
judgement.
When I brought Ken to our home, I could see that all was not
well, when my father gave me the ‘look’- whenever he
started down and suddenly looked up, with his eyes
squinting, I knew the coast was not clear on my demands.
That was the look he wore that day, soon after he received
Ken and had asked him some questions. My father,
unfortunately, is big on pedigree, which in and of itself is
not a bad thing, and would always wish for her daughters to
marry equally into money like he had done himself. To him,
Ken may not be able to guarantee me the kind of lifestyle I
was used to, and he didn’t want to be meddling into our
material affairs, by providing us with everything we wanted.
“That may bring resentment from your husband, and
signalthe beginning of marital crises you may not come out
intact emotionally.
Why go into it in the first place if you could help avoid it
now”? My dad had counselled. As we went back to our
school, there was no denying the fact that Ken had realized
he had not been completely accepted by my father, and he
felt hurt and bruised by that. And on my part, there was no
doubt that I love my father, and was therefore, not willing to
dismiss his concerns simply because I loved Ken. I was torn
between two extremes. Needless to say that our love,
though still solid, was showing signs of stress and stress. It
was during this time that on a summer trip with my parents
to Houston, Texas, that I met a man who in a short six
months later would become my husband.
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